“It’s love that is patient, kind, supportive, gentle, and accepting. It’s about caring, listening, and being present. It’s about forgiveness and understanding.”
- I’ve Been Thinking, Maria Shriver
The Influence of Memories Support Our Ability to Relate to Our Family
I always say, “I want to make decisions based on what I truly value.” Family is my first and foremost priority in my LIFE. My family has taught me the true meaning of LOVE, as well. When I reflect on being a mom, I have always wanted to create a strong and relational bond with my children that supports, ACCI (being attached, connected, committed and interdependent). This is and has been my purpose and my hope filled legacy for my family.
I love a good story! A good story creates a meaningful picture in my mind. Recently, I lead a group of adults through an exercise of reflection. I asked them to reflect on their stories when they were younger with the framework of their 5 senses: touch, taste, see, hear and smell. Then, I asked them to write a brief story about their 5 senses. We had a great time sharing and reflecting on our stories.
One of the stories I shared was about homemade ice cream and chocolate fudge sauce. I remember the sense of anticipation and joy when family and friends would come over. Most weekends, my family would get together with Uncle Harvey and Aunt Dodie and their two sons, Jeff and Greg (we were friends that felt like family). My mom and Aunt Dodie, would put together the ingredients for the homemade vanilla ice cream and then, turn it over to my dad and Uncle Harvey to be churned in the old fashioned wooden ice cream maker. The churning of the ice cream maker only made the anticipation to eat the ice cream sweeter. As kids, we waited for the sound of the ice cream maker to slow down as it indicated the ice cream was getting thicker and thicker. While the ice cream was churning, my mom and Aunt Dodie would make the homemade chocolate fudge sauce. When the ice cream and chocolate sauce were ready, my memory of the taste of the vanilla ice cream with chocolate fudge sauce was divine! It is one of my most favorite childhood memories embedded in my mind and heart. As soon as we would be devouring our ice cream with chocolate sauce, my “cousin”, Jeff would exclaim, “Oh man! My head hurts!” He always ate his ice cream with chocolate sauce so fast that he would get a headache. We still laugh about this memory and how he would never slow down eating his homemade ice cream! He always chose the headache over slowing down his eating of his ice cream. This memory is meaningful as I felt a true sense of relational love with our friends, the attachment to one another, the commitment to our friendship, and the interdependence we felt in supporting one another.
I know life looks very different right now. I know school is going to be different this year. And, I know it is difficult to get together like we used to…I also know, there is still time to tell a good story. It doesn’t have to be long or with a lot of details. It just needs to connect with you and what is meaningful to you.
At Family Strong Blueprint, we encourage you to use the framework of your 5 Senses – TOUCH, TASTE, SEE, HEAR AND SMELL and tell a story to your children and high school children (even adult children) about what you remember when you were growing up. It is a great way to communicate fun memories and what is meaningful to you. Our past and reflective stories will help your children to know you in a different way and it will give them an opportunity to appreciate you and value your life experiences.
When I shared my homemade ice cream story with my grown daughter who is going to have her first baby in October - she communicated, “Mom, Grandma always knew how to blend the vanilla ice-cream with the chocolate sauce perfectly. It is one of my favorite memories of being with her, too!” Yes, my mom and dad loved their ice cream! Even in their last days…we were still giving them their ice cream. My mom would jokingly say, “It’s my milk for the day!”
Some day, I look forward to making homemade ice cream for my grandchildren and making the chocolate sauce, too. It will be fun to pass down this sweet memory to my family that my parents created with LOVE.
Shirley’s Homemade Ice Cream (passed down to her from her family)
7 eggs
3 ½ cups of sugar
pinch of salt
2 TLBS vanilla
Combine ½ pint of whipping cream; 2 quarts of half & half and 1 quart of milk (my mom would adjust this portion according to her tastes! She may have added more half & half and less milk!)
Beat eggs, then gradually add the sugar, beat until a little thick. Slowly and gradually mix in the half & half, only to mix slightly. Pour into freezer and enjoy!
Takes about 45 minutes in the ice-cream maker.