My heart fell heavy last week.
As I communicated with my clients, past colleagues, and friends in the hospitality industry…
My heart felt heavy.
An industry I love and have at times, given my life to – hotels, restaurants, and bars experienced layoffs and closures like never before and it continues to do so…
My heart feels heavy.
I’m reminded how my past colleagues and I have all been through challenging things and times before – extreme weather disasters, economy crashes, and the general complexities of managing hotels and rooms full of people on a daily basis. Together, we have ALWAYS RISEN ABOVE. There was and still is always something within us that kept us pressing and moving forward. After all, we truly love serving our guests and enjoy seeing them come back for our unique guest experience.
My heart feels called to support the industry I love.
As we navigate these times today, and in the days ahead, we have the opportunity to lead ourselves…lead our minds, lead our emotions and lead our teams to the other side of this most tragic of times.
My intentions in writing are to be of service. I feel called to share parts of my story with a deep intention that those reading will find solace, hope and even strength to keep our minds and emotions open to something new. No matter what lies ahead for all of us – I trust, we can keep ourselves open to TRANSFORMATION.
In 2017, I sat comfortably with my toes dipped in the pool of a family friends ranch house, with a stunning view of the rolling green hills in Santa Ynez Valley and wine country, a place that idolizes old traditions and fancies itself with new vision and novel beginnings.
A few months earlier, I voluntarily exited an abusive work environment. My fiancé and I drove across the country from Nashville back to my roots in California. As I sat and reflected on all that had transpired and despite the gorgeous view and good wines and food…
I felt depleted, defeated, and unsure of the next steps in my life.
To top it off, my phone shut down. Reminiscent of a feeling I was trying desperately to ignore. In reality, the battery wasn’t low. And, I knew full well the bill was overdue. My now husband and I had spent our life’s savings working towards our vision for our lives – one we thought was going to be our dream come true in Nashville. The short version of our Nashville dream ended in disappointment and sorrow.
After a very successful decade with careers and experiences in the hospitality industry in New York City, we anticipated Nashville to be another one of our successes. After all, when I moved from Los Angeles to NYC, I only had a few hundred dollars in my pocket, no place to live and a freelance hotel events job. If, I could make it in NYC, certainly…I could make a change in career in Nashville and ultimately, come back to Los Angeles, and make it, again! Logical thinking, right?
I felt a need to recover, heal from the emotional, mental and physical exhaustion of the Nashville year.
Looking back, with my toes in the water in Santa Ynez, my phone shut down and surrounded by my close family, I knew the universe was looking out for my husband and me. Fortunately, my husband began working in the bar and restaurant industry again. I needed more time. The demands of high stress situations and the day-to-day operations of the hotel world had taken a toll on my spirit. My natural desire to succeed and earn a steady income were deeply embedded within me.
I have always felt confident.
Growing up I always felt sure of myself. I was a competitive gymnast from the time I was in elementary school. My gymnastics career led me into my college years and gave me a foundation for practice, hard-work and high performance. So, when I arrived in New York City, I was ready to thrive and I did. I had a successful career in the hotel industry that I loved and it provided me life experiences that I will never forget and forever value and appreciate.
Still, I wrestled with my feelings, my thoughts, and emotions.
And, I struggled with my own expectations. I had set high expectations upon my future, my hopes and my dreams. At this point in time, I felt like a failure and I was unclear which way to go…
With a lack of clarity, I decided to go inward. I wasn’t really sure what it meant, and yet, I knew, I needed to explore something more within myself. It was not an easy choice, as it did not provide an immediate financial return. Especially, at a time when I felt like making money was a priority. Instead, I chose to lean into my core relationships and became more curious about myself, my personality and my values.
My choice to go inward.
The inward journey has led me to a life as an entrepreneur. A life that I could never have imagined and I continue to explore. I know there is so much more I want to work toward and achieve. I am confident that the foundation I have laid is the groundwork for everything that I long to experience in my future. I am committed to personally and professionally evolving and transforming who I need and want to be presently and for my future.
I want to take a moment to pause here and ask a few questions –
What are you feeling?
What do you hear me saying?
Can you relate to my experience?
Can you identify with the stress of the unknown?
Is confusion and what to do next creating stress for you?
Are you in a situation where you need to let go and reset for yourself?
We are all experiencing a worldwide, historical challenge that we simply cannot individually control. We can, nonetheless, control how we react. We can control how we are processing the information that is relentlessly available to us. We can control how we lean into our relationships for support and guidance. We can control our personal choice to move forward.
I recognize turning inward to experience transformative change may not be at the top of your list right now. I do, invite you to take this time, a time we have all been given, to reflect on your own story. Remember, you are the author of your own story and every day is a new opportunity to make choices to live the life that is most meaningful to you. Even, if the most meaningful is in the simplest of ways, right now.
Identifying what is meaningful to you, in and of itself, is transformative. At least, it has been from my own personal story and experience. Knowing myself, and what is important and meaningful to me has transformed my mindset and my every day choices to lead and to live a life that is fulfilling.
I was and am worth it – You are worth it!
The time I have spent on my mind, body and soul to transform my mindset has been worth every minute. It is possible there is an area in your life where you are open to being transformed. All it takes is a personal self-awareness of where you would like to see transformation and a curiosity to be open to something new for your life and your career.
You may find new hobbies, meditating, exercising, making gratitude lists, recognizing the simple abundant moments (like a hummingbird passing by) and building new and lasting relationships are more meaningful during this time in your life.
My transformative journey began with an abrupt ending and a willingness to let go of everything I knew and everything that had worked in the past. The things I could be confident in – I was a person of character, I had great experience and organizational and communication skills. I have used all of who I am as I chart the course of my career as a leadership coach and consultant in the hospitality industry.
With you in mind - a simple exercise.
In closing, a helpful exercise that has supported my journey is understanding where I need to put my intention, what behaviors I need for my intentions and what is my desired outcome. The strategy looks like this:
My intention is ____________________________________________________
My 3 Key Behaviors that I can practice to support my intention:
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
My desired outcome is ____________________________________________________
My encouragement to you…
Stay open-minded with your outcome. Often times, I have started with my best intention and the outcome looks different than I originally expected. I’ve given myself permission to say, “This is totally and 100% OKAY.” I continue to trust the outcome was meant to shift and that I was meant to experience the outcome that is best for me. I’ll write more about this next time.
Until then and with love, peace and gratitude,
Chelsea