“No matter how complex the people or situation(s) – Building your capacity to listen, communicate and respond appropriately sets you on a path of greater success.”
- Just Listen by Mark Goulston
At TC&A we continue to build our capacity for good and healthy communication for the good of all.
Recently, I experienced an individual who lacked ALL ability to listen. It was truly astonishing - the lack of listening skills.
I am very aware of strong extraverts who love to talk and be expressive with their thoughts and views. Also, I am very aware of the importance of drawing information from introverts and asking good questions to support them to be part of the dialogue.
It’s been quite some time, since I had an experience where the individual lacked basic skills for listening and communicating. I might add, and they hold a very high position, role and responsibility.
I really had a sense of sadness that this person believes her behavior and communication is “good” leadership. I still can’t get the picture out of my mind where she is running around the office space in high heals frenetically…as if, the building was on fire.
As I write the story, I have a deep empathy for her and how she is choosing to lead herself. It must be very exhausting to be her.
I think we can all agree good, healthy and basic communication does not need to be complicated. There are four things we can be aware of NOT to do and four things that we can be aware of TO do when listening and communicating with others.
Here are four elements of weak listening skills:
No preparation
Thinking in the moment with no “real” clarity
of what to communicate and what you want to say
Lack of focus
Very little eye contact
On a scale of 1 – 5 (one being low and 5 being high) – how would you rate your lack of listening skills?
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Here are four elements of strong listening skills:
Be prepared and yet, flexible to adapt to the dialogue
Be supportive within the dialogue (meet the needs of the other person)
Be focused to guide the dialogue towards a healthy outcome
Make good eye contact by being interested in what the person is saying
On a scale of 1 – 5 (one being low and 5 being high) – how would you rate your listening skills?
_________________________________
The month of March, you have a choice to LEAD yourself well with basic, good, healthy and strong listening skills. We encourage you to elevate your communication style by:
Listening well
Asking good and thoughtful questions
Being genuinely interested in what the other person is saying
Express appreciation for what you have heard
Yung Pueblo, a writer and activist for growth, writes:
“A real conversation, not just projections and ego-flexing, is a special gift. Most do not talk to listen, they talk to be heard. Both people need a high degree of self-awareness, selflessness and a real desire to listen to be able to have a mutually authentic and honest exchange.”
For the Month of March, we encourage great communication and collaboration by using your LISTENING SKILLS. We believe, the following will transpire for you and for the teams you lead – You will …
Work well together
Exchange important information
Cooperate with others
Pool your resources
LISTEN Well…and have a greater understanding of one another
You never know how your LEADERSHIP will influence for the good and benefit of all, until you are willing to LISTEN.
Print out this quick guide and leave it out for a good reminder!